Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Please participate in a holiday weight gain challenge if you are not doing so already. The standard rules are as follows as passed down through Dartmouth Ultimate lore.

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RULES, by Adam Sigelman '05
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This isn't Nam, fellas. There are rules. You only get 3 hours between the weigh-in and the weigh-out. No day long stuffing allowed.

Also, make sure you are wearing the same clothes and accessories during both weighs. I think Agan or Flan tried to sneak on a pair of shoes back in '05. None of that crap.

Also, starting this year, no use of analog scales so as to avoid another disaster as we had last year in the Agan household. That contest is still under protest. Digital only, folks.

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STRATEGY, according to Samuel J. Haynor '08
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There are several schools of thought that have not been reconciled yet in competition.

Northeast:
The gastrointestinal galavanters of the northeast have relied heavily on high-density mashed potatoes to coat the inside of their lower intestines, creating a superhold on turkey and pumpkin pie.

South:
The jelly-chugging juggernauts below the Mason-Dixon have greatly relied on an initial burst of heavy consumption followed by clenched buttocks for the rest of the meal. While south to north transplant Adam Sigelman '05 has traditionally done well, comfort holds no place in his thanksgiving meals.

West:
The embellishing embibers of the west have relied on trickier methods, including Hayley Kennedy '08s victory two years ago with 6.5 pounds. Often resorting to last-second Martinelli chugs, and filling their sweet potato pie with leaden shrapnel, the West has conceded their relatively small digestive tract, trading it for Crewton-like squirreliness.

Mid-west:
Eat stuff.

As a personal word of caution, BE CAREFUL WHEN PLAYING FOOTBALL ON THANKSGIVING AFTER PARTICIPATING IN THE CHALLENGE. Stomach rupturing may occur and all of us here at TSRE will not be held legally responsible. As a fellow competitor I wish everyone good luck and god speed. May you gain weight gracefully and swiftly.


Let us all take a moment and enjoy the finale of Charlie Brown the Mayflower Voyages on this day of thanks. Just think of how absolutely ridiculous it was that Squanto and Samoset both had learned English, with Squanto traveling to England and Spain and were in the vicinity in order to aid the Pilgrims. It is so improbable for all of it to have happened, although I don't think Snoopy was there playing drums.



You just can't have Thanksgiving without Ram Jam. This song can be used as the introduction to anything.

Ram Jam - Black Betty

Francois Virot - Not the One

Even though the French were no way involved with Thanksgiving, this song is a lo-fi pop gem that is just plain enjoyable. So just sit back, relax and enjoy stuffing your face and watching the Lions get destroyed by the Titans tomorrow.